"Finally" Leo...

I am going to write this in English because for some strange reasons Romanian has failed me this morning. Anyway…

Soooo…Leonardo di Caprio. They said it. They f*..ing said it. Both. BBC and CNN. They used the apocalyptic “finally” referring to the guy winning the Oscar for best actor. And they were not the only ones. All the media used phrases like “finally claims”, “finally gets”, finally wins”. They won’t let him enjoy his moment.  Yes, his most waited moment. The moment he has been struggling for so hard. After being nominated for like 6 times, it was about time for him to win, but again…bitter sweet moment for Leo. Why? Words fail me again. Moved to tears… Leo, sweetie, don’t mind them because … and now let’s all take a moment…Martin Scorsese won only 1 Oscar in his entire life and we’re talking about Martin Scorsese, the most nominated living director, the most everything.

Poor cutie Leo pie. I mean, don’t misunderstand me. I kind of liked Leo when he was younger. I think he was fabulous in What’s Eating Gilbert Grape maybe because he was and looked tortured, but he was so cute. As Johnny Depp said “I tortured him. I really did. He was always talking about these videos games, you know? I told you it was kind of a dark period. ‘No, I will not give you a drag of my cigarette while you hide from your mother again, Leo.'” Ouch! Leo, darling! Hiding from mum? Your mum who gave you the name Leonardo because while pregnant with you she was looking at a Leonardo da Vinci painting in a museum in Italy when you first kicked? When I am pregnant, I am going to literally stare like 24x7 at Michael Fassbender, kicking or not, that’s for sure!

And then I adored you in The Basketball Diaries and Romeo and Juliet because you looked so sweet high on absinthe, some middle aged potion or some hard core white powder. You know, John Leguizamo (the voice of Sid the Sloth in Ice Age), who played Tybalt in Romeo and Juliet, said that on the set you had actually been a patron of hookers. Divine. Absolutely divine, Romeo! 

Sursa: http://favim.com/image/50436/

I was watching The Wolf of Wall Street the other night and I was thinking that you were just in your element surrounded by dough, hookers, drugs, tall, very tall women, yet you were struggling to impress us. Way too much. Again, I liked more Matthew McConaughey (“Fugazi, Fugazi. It's a wazy. It's a woozie. It's fairy dust.”) and Jonah Hill with his pearl white teeth. I wish I had his dentist.

Anyway, I think you are a great actor, you had great parts but, I don’t know, I have this feeling that this year you have “finally” got the golden statue because the Academy and the entire Hollywood, oh man, being “sorority racist” even though I believe they are more like a fraternity, wanted to “wash them throughly from their iniquity, and cleanse them from their sin” (to paraphrase the Psalms). Just like that. Or maybe it was the bear. I mean it was a grizzly bear. Or maybe the leap year. Or maybe they were bored. What can I say…The Revenant is a great film yet not that great. It’s Iñárritu whom I like immensely for 21 grams and Birdman, yet something was missing but this is just a very personal opinion. I like, oh I like Tom Hardy, though, the bad guy, the very bad guy.

“Finally”, congratulations Leo on your win. Now it’s time to loosen up a bit because you have been so tense these years. You know, I have a dream. I’d kinda like to see you in a “gangbang”, in Breaking Bad, preferably. That would surely put a smile on your face. And on my face. Just sayin’. Bring it on, wolfie!

M.